Aging Frontman

by Vinnie Caruana

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1.
Better 03:42
Unlock your tired heart. We won’t have this pain forever. Just let your demons free. Let the warmth wash over you. Oh God, how long will I fall prey to myself? The answer lies inside the books you said you read. Do I make you better? Have I dragged you down? When we leave our bodies, when the rolling blackouts become permanent. Have I made you better? You’re not the only one who sank to the bottom, keep swimming. Was I the anchor, thrown over as you held me? Goddess, am I the one who keeps you from the air? Or am I still the one that makes you feel alive? Do I make you better?
2.
Alone 03:47
I took a walk through the parking lot of your housing development. Boarded up and black. So now I roam. It’s not like I’m falling apart. Don’t you dare worry for me. Why on earth would you start now? A solitary flower pot on your front porch . It grows and grows and grows. I’ve never felt quite so alone. Don’t waste your sleep on me. I could never live with myself. I wouldn’t know where to start. I know you hate how much I love you, but there’s no other one. I could never take how much you hated me, I vow to die alone. I did some talking to God. We spoke of the flowers of forgiveness, until the sidewalk swallowed me whole. It’s all uphill from here. Day by precious day, I build up a tolerance to dirt in my mouth and concrete in my heart. This is what it’s like to be alone. 
3.
When sleep doesn’t work and you’re so sick of yourself. Can you think of anything more ironic than dying in the living room? Oh, my aching head. It’s boiling up again.  And where is my heart? Cold wrist, colder heart. Welcome to the pain. Hey, at least you still feel. Smile wide, you’re alive. Where is my heart? Drunk in a stranger’s car. Sir, please just remain calm.
4.
5.
Providence 03:50
This pen is perfect. This paper’s been in my pocket all month, just begging for ink. I guess providence allows. I was just thinking. Have I been true and told you when I’m gone, I’ll still be right by your side? Please don’t ask me how I know. Free from the ones who taught me to keep looking backwards. The beat of my heart, tells me someday I’ll be home. The pain will always want to show it’s face and I’ll be waiting. With open arms, it’s had its place with me all along. I wanted you to know, I’ll be ready when I go. And I cross my heart. Having you here at the same time on this earth has been my honor, dear.
6.
And there I was, getting splinters from a barstool. And who are you to judge? I’ve tried my very best. I’m canceling today. I know I shouldn’t stay too long, but I have to carve my name into the bar. It shouldn’t take too long. And here I am, waking up like a ghost. Scowling at the daytime glow. Cold sheets and regret. I once was young but that was then. I slither out of bed and catch a cab. To my one true love, I know she’ll remember. My honest eyes and my crooked smile. And how I love you more than the ocean loves to drown. More than my throat could make it sound. More than bridges love to burn. More than death when he gets his turn. More than the ocean loves to drown.

credits

released October 4, 2019

All songs written by Vinnie Caruana except “Alone” written by Vinnie Caruana with additional arrangements by Alex Fitts.

Produced, Engineered, and Mixed by Brett Romnes at The Barber Shop Studios, Lake Hopatcong, NJ, USA. 

Mastered by Mike Kalajian at Rogue Planet. 

Vocals and Guitars - Vinnie Caruana
Percussion and Keys - Brett Romnes
Bass - Mike Caruana

Album art by Dan Moran at bad.studios

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Know Hope Records Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Philadelphia-based independent record label.

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